My life

Summer is coming.

2009-03-23T19:44:02Z

Why are you making it harder?
Why are you driving it home?
I am not the broken-hearted
I am just a load of bad things

You can pretend you weren't let down
We all know the soft song tonight
You can pretend you weren't let down
We all know the soft song tonight

I am not the broken-hearted
I am just a load of bad things

If you'd be my dream, I could have you every night.

2008-03-12T03:25:59Z

my friend is in rivercrest now.
its just one thing after another.

but you know,
i'm learning how to cope.

i'm proud of myself.
dunno if i should be
but i am

my moms letting me repierce my lip
for my bday
=]
can hardly wait.

san antonio this weekend
which means
HOLLISTER!!!
woo.
ha
sorry, i love that store.

been stayin up til 3 every night.
weird.
i'm so crazy ha.

i just want to get on a bus and GO.
go where?
i don't know.
everywhere
nowhere
somewhere
anywhere.
just, go.
i'm ready for a new adventure
:]

The harder I try to resist you, the weaker I seem to be.

2008-02-08T06:44:58Z

so it's 12:40 am.
why am i awake?
why not?

i'm supposed to be revising my essay.
all i need is works cited and a few direct quotes.
why is school so hard??!?!!?

im going to apply for ASU classes next year
but ill prob just end up doing AP
I'm kinda scared about the AP tests...
but i think they are hyped up some.

I got into regular Pre-Cal
So I guess I'll see how that goes.
Unfortunately idk who's going to be in my class.

Gosh I love Brad Paisley.
How cheesy is that?
It's Eloy's fault, everytime we hang out I start listenin to country again.

pft.
i think im going to go work out in a few hours.
if i get my essay doneee!!!

ps. The Color of Water is a really really good book!!!
=]

Then I could tell you, the truth like I used to.

2008-02-05T01:28:34Z

life is great.
i got ungrounded yesterday =]
so i watched the superbowl with chuck & molly
and others.
ha
i went to lunch with rico today,
it's been weird now that i'm kinda startin to talk to all them again.
but i'm not going to try too hard.
because i love my friends this year. :D
i basically got hired at hot topic
bahaha
i wonder if i can wear hollister up in there??
i dunno but they're havin a little meeting type thing on wednesday
hopefully my haircut is done by then...

i hope i get one of the jobs i applied for.
i turned in like 8 diff applications, im bound to get one of them! haha

man i've been so mellow lately,
it's amazing
mostly due to the help of starbucks
and red bull
they keep me going!!
you'd think that would make me hyper,
but mostly it just keeps me awake.
i get about 18 hours of sleep a week.
yay?

well
me and gabriel went out for like a week.
relationships are so so stupid.
i felt so trapped.
as i always do.

my life is changing once again.
and i like where it's going.
ive been going to the gym constantly,
cuttin out red meat and junk food.
soda. (goodbye dr pepper =[ )

OMG
spring break
equals
SXSW!!!
im so excited
i actually get to go this year.
i hope someone gets to come with me though.
but its whateveer.

mm cant wait for this summer.
im going to NEW YORK!!!!!
and probably baltimore to see sophie =]

im pretty pumped.

but, i have homework and chocolate covered strawberries calling my name.
au revoir!

I guess I can't really complain.

2008-02-03T04:06:55Z

I made her smile, I made her cry
Cleared her head and made her wonder why
I helped her live, I made her want to die
But she can't complain, she can't complain

She tried to date a friend of mine
I was at his house when she came to say goobye
He stood her up and she took it as a sign
But I can't complain, I can't complain

We took off for the weekend, had quite a time
Shared everything we'd ever tried
I told her I could love her, told her I could lie
So she can't complain, she can't complain

She didn't care if she saw me in her life
I left it up for her to decide
She couldn't see the end, neither could I
So I can't complain, I guess I can't complain

She moved here, bought the first house she could find
I moved in, we locked ourselves inside
I guess we just kidnapped each other's minds
So we can't complain, we can't complain, mmm

I cheated on her with a friend of mine
There are no days when we don't fight
But remember, I warned her, and I'm a guy
So she can't complain, no she can't complain

According to Mr. Morris (aka the bush baby)

2008-02-01T04:39:05Z

Morality is on the decline.
Exhibit A, please?

mm i don't work on superbowl
=]

it's 10:38
time to finish chemistry.
ughhhh

=[ save meee

muahahaha

2008-01-28T00:49:52Z

Plan C is working =]

You carry me, through the cross.

2008-01-26T16:18:23Z

Gosh the past two weeks have been crazy.
and not in a good way at all.
i feel horrible about everything i do
but at the same time
i honestly don't care
why should i have to spend my entire life just doing what people expect, or what makes them happy

i need to make me happy.
i need to make my own mistakes
deal with my own problems

i feel like i'm starting a new chapter
i like it
but at times i am so depressed
at church i just lost it
i felt lower than low.

people don't get it.
it's like, they start an argument etc
then place the blame on me.

my mom
santi
teachers

it just never ends.
i can't deal with them anymore.

next year im doing a half day
gonna work the rest of the time
i don't have time worrying about keeping my friends
if you're going to be an asshole
then go for it
but i don't want to hear about it.

me and ******* are going out now
ugh i don't know what to think of that
he is so sweet
and everytime i see him im happy

but the course that im taking right now
leads away from him

i guess we'll see what happens.

i know i'm destroying myself.
but there's no turning back now.

Best friends

2008-01-21T04:04:44Z

should not have boyfriends
i've lost like all of them
no joke.

Building 429 is amazing.

2008-01-14T02:24:22Z

Walk blindly to the light and reach out for His hand
Don’t ask any questions and don’t try to understand
Open up your mind and then open up your heart
You will see that you and me and very far apart

‘Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe love will find a way

Violence has spread worldwide and there’s families on the streets
We sell drugs to children now, well why can’t we just see
That all we do is eliminate our future with the things we do today
Money is our incentive now so that makes it ok

ATTACK OF THE LEEKS!

2008-01-08T02:05:50Z

So I just started my 21 days of fasting for church.
Eek its gonna be hard.
But help me with my diettt
=]
me and jessi have run/walked/lunged? haha 3 miles in the past 2 days
and more to comeee
i love the feeling i get after working out.
its greatt

on a different note,
i miss my dad quite terribly.
bleh. san angelo.
yuckkk

14 degrees

2008-01-01T19:57:12Z

outside, and getting colder
jessi when you get home read my lj :]

i made a list for us this yearrrr
my resolutions are great.
if only i could go through with them!

i hope so.
no time to write til i get back to texas prob.
peace

M3RRY CHR1STM4S!!!!

2007-12-25T16:59:42Z

so chrissy is in town, we're chilling tomorrow.

DUH?!

great christmas,
i love Jesus. :]
& for once the guy i like actually likes me!
but no names, cuz that will jinx me :D

you'll never know!

yesterday i worked from 8 in the morning til 7 at night.
and it was so much fun.
i loved it!!!

and i got a present from my bosses' lol
me & holly were so freakin hyper by the last hour of our shiftt
but oh wellz.

hope everybody has a great christmas,
and remember its not about you,
its all about Jesus!! <3

hahahah

2007-12-24T00:44:48Z

longgg day at work today

apparantly randy threw a little bitch fit cuz me and levi went to the mall together.

since you know, levi doesn't have a girlfriend or anything.

jeez !
haha oh well, some people just don't grow up!
hmm tmw should be a long day too, nother 9 hour shift.
oh well ill be bankinnn $$$
:]
my mom is totally over the tattoo thing, yay!
haha apparently my grampa got one when HE was 16, so my mom basically got pwnt.
last night i chilled with mitch && rico, it was mellow and fun!
we played uno lol!!!!

well..............merry christmasss, and 5 days til omaha!! :D

this is why we're hot;

2007-12-22T16:34:25Z

last day of school = funnnnnnnnn
our english exam was like 20 minutes
so we got out of school at 10:30
me and jessi ate at my mommas work
then back to school.
then i dropped of anthony and manuel @ some place...
and off to the mall to hang out with gabriel!
i saw like 4930583094063 ppl there.
we got bored though
so went to weenie world
then some random playground
with killer children!!!
it was scary...
i had to help some little girl down off the giant caterpillar.

last nightttt...
went to the movies.
me and jessi bought embarrassing magazines at walgreens
went to walmart and FILLED a cart with pineapples, baby clothes, dog food, AND we saw two other sets of twins.
PLUS a prostitute.

then stupid work called me
cuz lisa didnt show up
so i went in to work

and blah!!

but today..........
another hangout sesh with gabriel.
santi is still gonna owe me 10 bucks, regardless.

make your harajuku doll!

2007-12-16T23:53:56Z

my momma found out about my tattoo.
not good!
she was really mad
but we hung out today
i think its all good.
i left my boss a note askin for more hours
i need to just work
like forever
i dont even want to hang out with people
haha
although the past two weeks have been really fun.
eek
finals this week
i should be studying.
keyword: SHOULD
yay omaha in 12 days
yall are going to miss me.

!!! LEVI'S BACK IN TOWN !!!
yay haha
i miss that kiddo.
we're going to hang out on thursday
woot woot

ps it's COLD outside

So why am I awake at 12:41 am?!

2007-12-14T06:55:12Z

cuz i can't sleep that's why.
ewh i made another myspace.
http://www.myspace.com/fiz_lfpc
add me if you must. X[

so i really like emery.
they're pretty much one of my all time favorite bands.

got my work sched today.
i work 18 hours this week :D
finally i get some hours.
today i work 4-10
tomorrow 3-7
sunday 3-7
go see me?

so elaine hired some MORE people
cuz this girl in the deli is going back to iraq.
guess who she hired??
VICTOR'S BROTHER!
crazy right.

and some kinda cute guy haha for a bagger.
he's a sophomore but really nice.

so my flyer was pretty badass except my printer ink ran out.
so its all orange.
i guess it fits, since i did "agent orange".

ugh do NOT image search agent orange.
its so gross/ sad
it doesn't even seem real.
blech.
idk.

how can people be so cold?

speaking of that, everybody thinks im stupid or whatever,
but i actually have GOALS
other than doing what my parents do.
or whatever.
or getting in the best fxckin college available.
i actually want to help other people, not myself.
if that's stupid, then oh well.
i guess caring is stupid.

we are all linked together.
so get over your differences.
if i've learned anything this year,
it's how to let go of grudges.
and it has NOT been easy.

but definitely worth it.

well i'm gonna get a drink,
fall asleep to emery.
:]

even though my life is stormy right now,
i feel happy inside.
and that's something i haven't truly felt in a long time.
i just wish the outside could match.
funny, you'd think it would be the other way around.
but things used to get me so so down.
and they still do, at times.
every day is a struggle for me.
but i'm more at ease, i'm more in love with life and God,
and although it may not seem like it, I'm changing for the better.
i've been having a few relapses lately, but it will pass.
i have good friends and good faith.
and i have compassion in my heart.

if you don't like it,
tell me.
so i can pray for you.

xx goodnight.

heheh ;D

2007-12-13T22:20:18Z

today was amazing.
yesterday was amazing.
tomorrow will be amazing.
mhm.

time to do my chemistry project ;D

<<my back hurts>>

Blegh.

2007-12-11T00:06:41Z

Blegh is my new word.
It about sums up, well, everything lately
i had the worst week last week.
GREAT weekend wif my twin and all.
;D
andd today, i just crashed.
it's hard keeping everything inside.
i mean, HARD.
Like, i've been bombarded with emotions of all different shapes and sizes
and i just can't fight them off anymore.
on my way home i stopped my car in the middle of the road.
and just waited.
I don't want to die.
it's just
i kinda wanted to disappear
you know?
the mist was inviting.
i came home and turned on all the christmas lights.
tried to go to sleep.
couldn't...my mom came home and i got mad
for no reason.
then i felt really bad and started crying.
she came in my room and sat with me with the light off and i just cried.
if people had any idea of what me and my family goes through...
not to say no one else has problems.
i just wish i could help everyone
but i can't even help myself.

i feel like i'm completely and utterly alone.

killer drag queens on dope wha?!!

2007-12-02T16:30:00Z

hehe so the weekly movie night marathon has begun.
:]
first movie: platoon.
me and jessi own.
we drank WAY too many shots last night.
haha DOUBLE SHOTS sillies!

gonna go buy me some more.
life is good.
abilene was fun.
time for work!
:D

CONVENTION 07!!!

2007-11-26T02:09:02Z

was FREAKING AMAZING
omg
where to start
idk
it was soooo fun though
got like 4 hours of sleep the whole 3 days
haha
ok
wednesday night church was cancelled and there was a convention meeting instead.
i spent the night at chella's dad's house with her danielle and michelle.
got up at like 4 am, got to church (barely) by like 5:45. (supposed to be there 5:30)
went to whataburger, kenny and angel were there. (high and drunk haha awkward much)
then we hit the road
i don't really remember the trip there
it was fun though
got to dallas, checked in to the hotel
went across the street to dennys

then it was back to the hotel to get ready for service

we straightened chella's hair hxc.
haha
there were soooo many people there.
it was insane.

that was just the group on the floor.
these were all teenagers too.
it was so intense.
we had an unbelievable guest speaker that night.
he played the saxaphone lol.
haha caught them off guard ;D
after the service/ concert, we headed to the Chill Room,
a huge room in the hilton where there were games and a stage and basketball tourney.
our guys won the basketball tourney!!! (well the first night)

and you would not believe the amount of scene kids there.
jeez.
im glad im not one of em ;D

the next day we headed over for a morning service and to buy some merch. (i got like 4 shirts)
after that we went to chili's for some yummy lunch.
our waiter was this gay dude that was super annoyed with us for some reason lol.
it was funny though.

speaking of gay!!!!! hahaha jk i love those guys <3
after that we had like 3 hours til TFK so like 5 of us went back to the Chill.
But it closed so me and chella sumo wrestled and then it was back to the hotel to get ready for TFK.
oh and jessi i saw jared! from journeys. lol

i met a REALLY cute guy at the concert.
he was standing right next to me and we were talking like we were close friends.
hahah i didnt' get a chance to get his number though :[
that night was really motivational.
at the end we did this thing were like everyone in the stadium held hands and formed little groups and prayed for each other.
my church is really my second family.
we went to "speedzone" afterwards, at like 9:30
stayed there til one.
boring much?
haha
but me and bernie played the zombie game, like the one at tinseltown,
and we got really really far.
it was pretty much amazing.
then i pwned him at air hockey :D
saturday was the mall.

someone had this in their car, thought i'd take a picture.
weird?
haha i literally had 3 bucks to spend at the mall. :/
oh wellz.
we had a ton of fun.
it was me chella clarissa lalo gabriel and james.
sometimes josa or jonathan was with us.
lol

hahaha dorks!
it was so much fun,
but i'm definitely glad to be home.
except for the whole school/ work thing.
oh well that's life!